Interspecies Relationships
by xbamxheartagramx
Summary: "What do you think about interspecies relationships?" Something in Shepard's stare told him that this was probably the most important question she had ever asked anyone in her life. "Honestly I've never put much thought into it." Liar.


Garrus Vakarian stared out of the observation port next to the garbage ejection in the cargo bay. He sighed heavily and flexed his fingers where they gripped his biceps. He was angry. No he was pissed. Garrus made an effort to not use profanity, but at this point he didn't really care. The nerve of that human. The way he spoke to her. It just awakened…something deep within him. He had no respect, no remorse. Shepard tried to explain why things were the way that they were, but he wouldn't listen. He didn't hear a damn word she said. It was like they hadn't shared everything before the original Normandy was destroyed and Shepard had nearly died trying to save everyone.

He scoffed at the thought. She hadn't nearly died. She had died. The most advanced scanners would have pronounced her dead. Yet against all odds she had returned. More determined and…amazing than ever. Garrus sighed again and leaned his elbows on the narrow windowsill dropping his bony forehead into his three-fingered palm. When he had been Archangel he had purged himself of all emotion. He had made himself forget what had occurred that day and moved on. At least he had told himself that he'd moved on. In the back of his mind he knew that he'd never really get over her. Not even when she'd mated with that bastard human.

A feral growl tore itself from his throat and he angrily punched the wall next to the observation port. He cradled his now bruised fist in the other hand and glared at the dent on the wall. Somehow it just managed to make him angrier.

"I suppose you didn't much like the architecture in here, eh?" Garrus narrowed his eyes at the voice.

"Go away Zaeed." He growled in a voice so angry it took him a moment to realize that he had actually said it. The bounty hunter chuckled and his boots clomped loudly on the floor as he approached and Garrus' mandibles flared.

"The way I see it," he said trailing off for a moment, "you're in my place." Garrus could feel Zaeed's gaze on the back of his head and he had to restrain himself from giving the bounty hunter the same attention he'd given the wall. He clenched his teeth and fists in fury and welcomed the pain that flared across his knuckles.

"Zaeed, it would be a good idea if you shut your mouth." Garrus growled still staring at the endless expanse of space a few inches from him. He heard Zaeed suck in a breath for a reply before she interrupted him.

"Zaeed." She said and all the anger Garrus had felt disappeared. "Would you mind giving and myself a moment?" She posed it as a question, not an order. She had that way with people. It helped her keep her position as commander. In the field she was all business, she gave an order and you followed it or you got the hell out of the way. In the civilian world she was friendly and easy to get along with. That's part of the reason Garrus was so in love with her. She was the perfect solider and an incredible diplomat at the same time.

They stared off for a moment before Zaeed finally dropped his gaze. "Alright, but if you're going to fuck take it somewhere else." Shepard chuckled quietly and nodded as Zaeed snorted and stomped back the way he had come.

They were silent for a moment, Garrus still staring out the port and Shepard standing quietly a few feet behind him. "The engineers are well paid Garrus. And they have quite a workload on their hands. I imagine the dent in the wall isn't to keep them on the payroll." She approached him slowly and he could hear her heart beating.

"I'm sorry." Garrus said running a palm over his forehead and back along the bony fringe that protruded from the back of his head.

"I believe the ship is more who you should be apologizing to." She said and he could hear the smirk in her voice. He gave a short chuckle.

"That's not what I meant, Shepard." He said. "I mean I'm sorry for losing my temper. I'm not usually this irritable." He glanced sideways at her and when she didn't look at him he turned to stare out of the port as well.

"So why are you this irritable?" She asked. Her expression and body language were relaxed but he could tell by the pheromones she was releasing that she was nervous about the impending conversation.

"Alenko." He spat the name like it was poison and he noticed the corner of her eye twitch for just a moment before she was still and passive once more. "The way he treated you back on Horizon," he continued, "it didn't settle very well with me." He sucked in a deep, ragged breath and let it out slowly.

"K-…Staff Sergeant Alenko has a right to be angry with me. If I had been in his position I would've been angry too." She tried to hide the fact that she had choked up and nearly said his first name. And that her eyes were reddening and Garrus could see the tears welling up, making her eyes appear even greener.

"Shepard…" He said quietly laying a hand on her shoulder. She jerked involuntarily and it occurred to him that she had not let anyone near her since Horizon. He could not recall her even shaking someone's hand except Anderson's and that only because it was expected of her. "What he said, it's affecting you more that you're letting on. I compliment you on your bravery and how well you can mask your true feelings, but how much longer can you keep burying these feelings before they consume you?"

Shepard's hard shell finally cracked and a tear slid down her cheek. "I…I don't know Garrus. Kaiden was the only person I let myself get close to after Akuze. I learned that, in this profession, the people you get close to tend to be the first ones to die or leave. I couldn't bear to go through what I did after Akuze, but Kaiden, he was different somehow. I don't know what it was about him that made me feel like it would work out. Maybe it was how much we were willing to sacrifice for each other or just the way he looked at me. I really felt like things would be okay and we could have a normal relationship. Stupid." Shepard spat the last word and glared out of the observation port. "I was stupid to let myself get that close to someone."

Garrus grit his teeth so hard he thought he heard them crack and they were silent for a few moments as Shepard continued to stare out the port. "Shepard…It's not stupid to let yourself get close to someone. You can't live your life pushing everyone away. You'd end up like Zaeed and Jack. I know that your life has been...difficult, but you're not alone. I'm here for you and so is Tali and I'm sure Liara would love it if you called her up. We know what you've been through and how hard your life is. Please…don't give up Shepard." It occurred to him that he probably sounded extremely whiny at that moment, but the sight of his commander in such emotional turmoil made him feel something he had never felt before on levels he had never felt them.

"Kathryn." She said quietly. Garrus looked at her questioningly. "My name…its Kathryn." She turned to face him and took a step forward. Garrus tensed. Sure he had been close to the commander in battle before. Pulling her out of the way of a charging Krogan or helping her onto the shuttle, but here it was different. On the battlefield it was closeness of necessity here it was closeness of choice. "I'm not always like this." More tears slid down her cheeks and she let out a humorless laugh. "Kaiden surprised me…and hurt me…I mean I knew he was over me and to be honest I'm not really into him anymore either, but it still hurt to hear." Shepard paused to wipe the tears from her face. She took a deep breath and her green orbs bored into his blue.

"Garrus…there's something I want to say…and I don't quite know how to…" Her gaze averted and she tucked a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear.

"Just say it Shepard. I won't judge you for it." Garrus honestly had no idea what the commander was going to say, but if she needed to say something he would always be there to hear it.

"It's more difficult than that!" Shepard was suddenly animated. She threw her hands up in the air and her green eyes widened in something close to fear.

"Goddammit aren't you two done with your pity party yet?" Zaeed's voice cut through Shepard's momentary loss of poise. She cleared her throat and clasped hands behind her back.

"Perhaps we should continue this somewhere more private. How about my personal quarters?" The look Shepard gave her Turian counterpart made him feel like he did not really have a choice so he nodded his head, now a little wary of what exactly Shepard was trying to tell him. "We apologize for taking your space and time." Shepard said as the pair passed Zaeed in the hall. The bounty hunter mumbled something unintelligible and went to reminisce over his numerous trophies.

The ride up the elevator was awkward. Shepard stared at a ceiling tile the whole time while Garrus spent the ride trying to figure out what it was she was making an attempt, and a rather unsuccessful one at that, to say. Had she gone insane? Her behavior in the cargo hold made him speculate, but he had never sensed anything off about his commander's state of mind before. Was she gay perhaps? Miranda, as Garrus had heard many of the crew say, was quite attractive by human standards and Jack was most defiantly not the straightest appearing person on the ship. Garrus supposed she could be attractive. To Krogans maybe. When the elevator dinged to announce their arrival on the first floor Garrus had not made much headway. Everything he thought of just seemed too bizarre or impossible to be anything that Shepard would say to him.

They walked in to Shepard's quarters in silence. "This might be a long conversation…please take a seat." Shepard gestured towards the couch and Garrus obediently took a seat followed by Shepard. "Sorry about that…fiasco…in storage. I had a moment." Shepard ran a hand through her shoulder length hair as she said so.

"Indeed." Garrus replied. "Now would you like to continue?" Garrus stared hard at his commander as she crossed one leg over the other and rested her arms on them.

"Honestly? This is the last fucking thing I want to do…but if I don't then it will kill me." Shepard whipped her head around to stare at him with wide eyes. "What do you think about…interspecies relationships?" Something in Shepard's stare told Garrus that this was probably the most important question she had ever asked anyone in her life.

"Ummm…could you be more specific?" He asked laying one arm across the back on the couch. Shepard rose and stared at her closet for a moment.

Human and…Turian." The last word escaped with a sigh and Garrus could see a weight lift slightly off his commander's shoulders. She had held that in for a long time.

"Well…personally I haven't put much thought into it." Liar.

"Could you think about it now? Please?" Shepard turned her gaze on him and Garrus could see the tears brimming in her eyes again. He paused. Why would she ask such a question and need an answer so desperately? To his knowledge the only Turian she had ever really had any contact with was…himself. His heart leapt in his chest. Spirits, was she asking what he thought she was asking?

"It would depend on the human for me personally." He answered quickly. He had been honest when he told her that he did not have a human fetish. But Shepard was not any human.

"What type of human would you take as a mate if you had to Garrus?" She had returned to staring away from him again, her feet shoulder width apart and hands clasped behind her back.

"A strong one," he said. "One who was a good leader, loyal, friendly and professional. But also had a personality. Too professional is a turn off." He rose quietly from the couch and Shepard cocked her head slightly in his direction as he approached her back. "One that runs headlong into hopeless situations and never doubts that her and her squad are going to make it out okay." Garrus stopped mere inches from his commander. Her breathing had increased pace slightly and he could feel her body temperature rise at their close quarters. Garrus lowered his voice until it was barely above a whisper. "One, perhaps, that was named Kathryn Shepard."

That did it. Shepard gasped and her body seemed to go limp as she stumbled backwards. Garrus caught her against his chest and lowered them both to the floor. She mumbled something and her hand covered her eyes from his view.

"Was it something I said?" Garrus asked in a half-joking sort of way. Shepard let out a single laugh and pushed herself up slightly so that she could look him in the face.

"Now I know that I'm dreaming…or dead." Shepard looked at him with a bitter smile on her face. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that. Hell, I don't know how long I've been waiting. Feels like forever. Before we took down Saren. I know that much." Shepard laughed but there was no humor in it.

"W-wait. You've wanted me to tell you that I want to be with you since before we took Saren down? Before you and Kaiden…" Garrus trailed off.

"Yea. Isn't that pathetic? And it still hurt to know that Kaiden had moved on. I guess he loved me and I cared about him, but I didn't love him. Not in the way that I love you. God, I finally said it…I love you Garrus."

Garrus stared down at the woman below him. She was small and soft and completely unlike Turian women. But he was drawn to her in ways that he had never been drawn to anyone before in his life.

"Kathryn." Garrus said quietly. "This is not a dream." He grasped Shepard's face between his talons and pressed his mouth lightly against hers in a gesture that he had seen humans use before to show affection. He pulled back. "And you are most defiantly alive."

Shepard stared at him in awe. "Oh my god." She whispered. "I can't believe I actually picked my vagina up off the floor and said all that." Garrus screwed his face up in confusion. She picked her vagina up off the what? "Sorry." She said shaking her head. "Stupid thing I picked up. Most humans don't say that either." She rose unsteadily off the floor with Garrus' aid. "So…what now?" Her jaw was set and her eyes bored into him for either confirmation or closure.

"Shepard if we get into this we are never going to be accepted. Not by Turians, not by Humans and probably not by most everyone else." Garrus was still reeling from the revelation that Shepard had harbored feelings for him nearly three years before this moment, but he had been hiding his feelings for her for sometime before her death as well. No matter his feelings he had to make sure Shepard truly was prepared for this.

"Garrus, you know I don't give a God damn what anyone who isn't on this ship thinks. Hell, I don't care what half of them think either. Can you deal with that? Can you deal with your race disliking you because of who you share your life with?" Shepard looked enraged at the thought and injustice of the situation, but kept those feelings as inside as she could.

Garrus smiled. "For you, Shepard, I'm willing to go through a relay that no one's ever returned from, on a mission no one suspects to survive through, to fight a threat that no one thinks exists. Do I really have to answer that question?" Shepard's frown rose and then tension in her body receded.

"No," she said quietly, "you don't." Garrus opened his arms and Shepard stepped into the long awaited hug.

"Kathryn." Garrus said. Shepard looked up at him. "I love you too."


End file.
